WOW...i talked on the phone to a stranger...

ok so I know you are thinking - SO? But I don't talk on the phone. I am not sure what it is - but I will literally have a panic attack. I think the phone held a lot of bad news when I was younger, so my OCD has just attached that feeling to the phone. So tonight Keith was calling Verizon about some crazy mix-up on our bill since I got my blackberry (YES YOU ALL NEED ONE - IT ROCKS!) And he was trying to watch the Tennessee game and then she had to have my permission to talk to him because I am primary owner. So I just kept talking to her - and I did it! I got all our stuff changed on our plans, and all the mix-ups worked out and I didn't FREAK at all! I just talked to her, told her thank you for doing such an awesome job and hung up! She was so nice and that helped. But maybe I can start to talk on the phone??? Now don't everyone call me at once - or I will be completely traumitized! But maybe I can attach a new "feeling" to the phone???

Life can be so confusing...

Last night I had dinner with some family members. And the subject of my (and another family members) germ-a-phobia came up. That of course bled into other topics. And eventually a comment was made that my OCD was "just a mental thing I could work through..." WELL YEAH, I know it is mental - but that is like saying if you hold a snake long enough you won't be afraid of snakes anymore. There are people in this world who COMPLETELY agree with that statement. And as much as I wish that was the case it isn't. I think I am beginning to realize that although I wore my "Mask of Normality & Happiness" for so many years, and thinking about how frustrating it was to not be myself - that doesn't matter.

There are people in this world who will TRY to understand me and my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and then there are people who either don't try, or just CANNOT try because of their own beliefs, etc. And so I think - will it be ok to wear that "MASK" around those people - for my sake and theirs? Because all it does is stress me out worrying that they think I am NUTS?!?!? Or is that denying who I really am, and hiding a major part of my life?

We had dinner with friends tonight and it is not something I feel I need to "keep" from them. And I have friends I can text and say "I AM HAVING A PANIC ATTACK - TALK TO ME PLEASE!?!?!?!" And I have those friends who GET that talking on the phone is just a panic attack waiting to happen for me - and the texts are a-ok with them. And then I know I have people/family/friends in my life who think "WHY IN THE WORLD CAN YOU NOT ANSWER YOUR PHONE?"/"WHY IN THE WORLD CAN YOU NOT CALL ME INSTEAD OF TEXTING?"

And so here comes that dilemma again - do I just call and talk on the phone, do I just pick it up and answer and have the panic attack later in private when I CAN take off the "MASK", and not subject anyone else to my "issues".

Just some questions to ponder at 1:30am on a Saturday morning...

busy busy busy (Breaking Dawn Spoilers ahead!!!)

Well, I have my other blog up and running! And there are pictures on it! WOOHOO! It has been a long day. Keith was up and off to work, his mom in the driveway picking up bread to take to Michael's school, dogs barking, setting the mums in the yard back upright and finally it was all quiet. I was settled in with Breaking Dawn, the last book in the Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer. I had maybe 100 pages of the book left, which for me is NOTHING. I was so sad, and then my phone rang. It was Keith "Ummmmm, can you come and get me? I hit something and my tire is flat." So off i went - he brought me home, and here i was with no car for the day, errands to run, and nothing to eat. Thank goodness he had brought muffins home from Panera last night. So again, settled back in to read Breaking Dawn, and it felt like it was over in a flash. Edward and Bella - their happy ending. As happy as I was to know the end, I was sad. Because at the end of this book - it said - THE END! NOOOOOOOOOOO! It cannot be over. Bella and Edward, Renesmee, Jacob, Carlisle, the Volturi - they all have more stories to tell. It just cannot be over. And so for once I allow my OCD to take over and convince myself that there will be more books about these wonderful creatures. And hopefully by the time my obsession is a little less, there will be something new. Or I could just go read all 4 books again! LoL!

I have been playing with my digital cutter more. I cut some vinyl and it turned out pretty well. I am hoping to have something cut out for the front door for Fall/Halloween soon. And I will post pics of all the decorations soon. It was raining too hard today to even THINK about photos.

We had friends over for dinner on Saturday afternoon. It was so nice to sit outside and enjoy the patio. We even got to swing and eventually light up the fire pit. It was not as successful as we hoped. Keith's friend, Josh, tried to get that wood burning, but I think because we didn't have a starter log it just wasn't going to happen. But we had a fire for a little while. Keith made burgers, steamed veggies and garlic new potatos. YUM YUM YUM!

Sunday I was EXHAUSTED! I talked about this during my last therapy session. Slowing down - realizing that social activity takes a lot of me. I have to be "normal" for a little while. I can't just let it all hang out with my OCD. I have to kept myself in check. I can't freak out over things that would normally FREAK ME OUT (like shoes in the house - I was so impressed I kept my mouth shut). But "keeping myself in check" means that I am mentally and physically WORN OUT by the time that social activity is over. My anxious mind can now let up a little, but it has new worries to ponder. And then the obsessive cleaning begins again. At this point my hands hurt SO BADLY from cleaning and biting my nails I don't know that they will ever be normal again. OH MY! This isn't to say that I did not enjoy having people over I LOVE IT! But because it was a first for them all to be here, I was on edge. Next time, I will be more at ease.

Also, I must say WOOOOOHOOOOOOO! Our border collie Missie Moo made friends! It was amazing to watch. I mean we did have dog people over here, so they did not freak out with she barked, and they did not try to run. They just stood still and let her do her thing. She growled, she smelled, she brought them the ball to throw. AMAZING! My girl can do it! So see, if we can just run through our OCD tendencies - Missie & I - we'll be just dandy! Missie was so in love, she followed a friend around the house like "Hey don't leave me I am right behind you, hold up!" Too cute! Just bursting with pride, I am!

So little Stealth is at Gateway Tire waiting for them to open in the morning. i will have to run the keys down there to them, but no biggie. But I do have to be up at 4:30am to take Keith to work, so I supposed I ought to TRY to sleep. Not that I do much of that at night, but if I can't sleep I'll go play with my stamps or my cutter!

What is all this???

I know some of you are thinking, what is all this stuff about necks and twilight? Well if you have not heard of the AMAZING series of books by Stephanie Meyer, please let me introduce you to Bella & Edward! I don't want to give anything away because these books are just AMAZING! I have Breaking Dawn on the table right now, but don't want to start because then I don't get to "see" Edward and Bella for a while. Well, maybe I will just re-read all of them! LOL! These books were developed for a Young Adult audience, but they are so wonderful. I love them, I have been reading them so quickly, they are just awesome. Now realize that these are SUPERNATURAL in nature, if this might offend you, I wouldn't recommend these books. But even with my devoutly religious mindset I LOVE THEM!

I am off to finish up my housework, then to SCS (Split Coast Stampers) to hip-hop with Unity!

Country Lent

My cousin, Debbie, just sent me this. It made me laugh so hard - I just had to share it with ya'll!

COUNTRY LENT...

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic. And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic.

After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass. As the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, 'You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic.'

Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted, "You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you a catfish."

FYI....

This is a card I made for a Unity Stamp Co. Swap over at SplitCoastStampers.com
Supplies: Have a Diva Day Kit by Unity Stamp Co.; Prismacolor Pencils, Copic Spica Clear Pen, Brilliance Ink, Palette Hybrid Ink, PP is by The Paper Studio & CS is by DCWV, Threading Water Punch by Fiskars

This is another one for that same swap (I was in two groups.)
Card Base is from Target; Unity Stamp Co. Kit Echo Chic, Distress Inks,Square Nestibilaties, DCWV Cardstock, Quickutz Tab

Birthday Card for a TS'r. Supplies: Handmade Blue Paper (have no clue), Ribbon is Heidi Grace, Sequins unknown, PP is The Paper Studio, Ink is Momento, Margartia & Saying Stamps are by A Muse.

Card for another TS'r. Supplies: Magenta Ladybug Stamp, DCWV Cardstock, Copics to color, Copic Spica Glitter Pens, Hero Arts Love Stamp, Square Nestabilities

Then this was one of the first images I colored with my Copic Markers. I absolutely love those things. It is CRAZY! I only used two greens and he came out so beautiful! Most of these things were from my stash.
Supplies: Turtle by Stamping Bella, Green PP - Wordsworth, Polka-dotted Paper - CTMH, Ribbon is Offray, Hello Sticker is from Michael's $ bin, Corners Rounded with EK Success Punch.


So there are all my newest creations to share. I still need to upload my projects from the retreat I recently went on, but that will have to wait. I am preparing a new blog. This one will remain open for a while. Not sure if I will keep this as a blog about our little family, my OCD or what. But I will be "journaling" posts here. My new blog will be ART ONLY. Links where I find stuff, etc. I will not say that nothing personal will NEVER jump over onto the other blog, but we'll see.

I am trying to prepare a fun, creative place for you all to visit, so please stay tuned for the link when I post it. And look for changes around here as well. :o)

update...

lots of photos to share, but don't have the patience today. It has been a busy couple of weeks around here. I went on the annual Tennessee Stampers Stamping Retreat, then Friday night we had the annual St. Jude Auction. So I have been packing, unpacking, making baskets, shrink wrapping and more. And feeling very odd at a Chili's function, when we no longer "belong". Very odd...

Also I had an allergic reaction to some meds and didn't have the MOST fun Saturday night the weekend of the TS retreat. I am feeling better now, but not all back to normal. Amazing how you can take a drug for only a week, but it takes longer than that to get out of your system. OH well.....

Remember to cherish your friends, and even though it seems hard to find the time sometimes, ALWAYS remember that you have to give to get. You have to be there for your friends, if you want them to be there for you. And remember that sometimes we don't all know we need that support, so be aware of your friends and their changing lives, and that they might need you even when it isn't convenient. Yes it takes effort to be a friend, but it should be welcomed effort because of what that person means to you. Life is so fleeting and we need to remember to tell the ones who love us, and those we love how much they mean to us.