This song is my life....

Monster by Skillet
Songwriters: Brown, Gavin; Cooper, John Landrum;

The secret side of me, I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can't control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it

It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can't control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

My secret side I keep hid under lock and key
I keep it caged but I can't control it
'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp
There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart
No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream
Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I've gotta lose control, he something radical
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

long while....

it's been a long while since I have posted. Just haven't felt much like it lately. I am taking two new meds for my O.C.D. One is for anxiety and one is for "thought stopping". Hubs doesn't really like how the "thought stopping" one is described, but oh well, that is what Dr. P said. The first day or two they seemed to work, but not sure now. Not sure if they aren't working or if Dr. P was just laying the ground work for higher dosages at my next visit which is in about a week.

My birthday is coming soon. I would love to forget this whole past year. Just hasn't been one to scrapbook so to speak. Keith lost a job, still doesn't have a great one, and we are just making it. At nearly 33 that really STINKS. And to be honest, I have been the cheerleader for the past 10 months and I am tired...very tired.

I am honestly going to try and do better about posting, it seems to help.